Who Said The Food Is No Good?

   When I travel I know that the first thing on my mind is the food. For me this is what makes or break a good vacation, how good the food is. Most travelers will tell you that the food here is no good and that finding a decent meal is like trying to find a virgin in the RLD. Well the Funguide is here to help you navigate through the culinary world of Amsterdam. Whether you are on a cheap budget, or looking for a culinary experience I have something for you. Bon Appetite!

Budget -   My mornings start early in Amsterdam and shortly after that first Joint my stomach begins to rumble. Fresh squeezed juice and cappuccino are my way to do it right. Jays Juice and Screaming Bean are two of my favorites. http://www.jaysjuices.nl/ , http://www.screamingbeans.nl/. There are also plenty of bakeries to find the best fresh breads and such.

   For lunches you can’t go wrong with a good sandwich. Try any of the places that you may find that looks good. Amsterdam lunch for me is a great ham sandwich on some hearty fresh-baked bread and a plate of fries. You will never  be disappointed. One of my favorite sandwich shops is a tiny outdoor spot in the Spui. Right there next to the train tracks and street is one of the best lunch spots in the city. Order it up and sit outside and enjoy a really good cheap lunch.

   For dinner and a late night snack you have many options. Wok to Walk has multiple locations all over the city and offers delicious rice and noodle dishes for 8 euros or so. Cooked and served up piping hot right in front of you, it will surely hold you over until morning. http://www.woktowalk.com/. Another option would be Maoz Falafel. One of my favorites, for a few dollars you can stuff your face on falafel. Quite good and reasonably priced. http://www.maozusa.com/. French Fries is the best stoner snack money can buy in the Dam. Look for them everywhere and find your favorite spot. Cheap and good you can’t go wrong. Of course there is also shitty McDonald’s all over town.

Moderate When looking for a good lunch spot to sit down in, always remember that crowds usually don’t lie. An empty restaurant should speak volumes. A place that will be packed to the gills and also good food is The Pancake Bakery. http://www.pancake.nl/indexeng.php. Serving up the most delicious pancakes and omelettes in the city. The portions here are huge so come hungry, stoned and ready to share everything. Every combination of pancake and omelette you can think of. Pretty good french onion soup as well. For dinner I always manage to hit up Kanjil and Tiger Indonesian food. http://www.kantjil.nl/. Serving up some great Indonesian dishes you are certainly going to leave this place feeling satisfied.

Expensive- Looking to spend a little money and have a good meal? This is where it may get a little grey. From my experiences in Amsterdam the more I spend on food the worse it usually tastes. Casa Di David, http://www.casadidavid.com/, serving up Italian food is easily hit or miss. I have been here several times and usually leave with a lighter wallet and bad feelings. More like Casa Di Dick to me. Chez George in the Joordan was much better however. Delicious french cuisine was pleasant while underdressed and stoned beyond belief in this very stuffy yet elegant place. Not cheap but good, bring that MasterCard. Another decent place Is D’ Theeboom. http://www.theeboom.com/ Serving up a different menu each night, for 35 euros you will receive three courses. A good meal worth the extra expense. Lay off the whores for a night and instead treat yourself to a good meal.

 

  When in the Dam remember to try to and eat what Amsterdam is known for. Fresh baked breads, Fish, ham, Belgian chocolates, french fries, great Indonesian food, Good hearty dutch dishes, Cheese! Look for these places and you will have some good eats. Happy Eating!

Why I like Getting High…

  

    Dare… To keep Kids Off Of Drugs! This is what the majority of us Good ole American boys and girls had the privilege of sitting through as young boys and girls. Oh and I even agree with the fact that kids should not be doing any drugs of any kind, including prescription pharmaceuticals. With this being said, DARE loves to instill in all our young minds that marijuana is the “Gate Way” drug, the devil weed! Many of us hear this, and  when we grow a little bit older and get a sense of self and we end up trying the magical herb. In fact about 40% of the US population has smoked pot in their lifetime. So why do I risk getting caught by the fuzz to spark up a fatty? Why do millions go through so much just to get high?

   The days of being a teenager and getting ripped to the gills with non stop laughter and the munchies are long gone. Let’s face it you get older, you start to have more responsibilities, you have to go to work, but you manage to keep on toking. Maybe you tell yourself that it’s okay because you get headaches. Or maybe it helps your lower back pain,”That’s what I tell my doctor”, you think to yourself. Well the truth is very few of us truly need pot for the medicinal use, although I do feel that it is a valid medicinal treatment. I guess we simply enjoy the effects. We no longer need to feel ashamed and have any regrets for smoking a bowl.

   After a long day of taking it from the man, I can’t wait to walk through the door. Was  Haarlemdog a good boy?  and time to get down to business. Loading up my Sherlock bowl with some Cheese I am drooling. Choking down a few rips and then out the door with Haarlemdog before he pee’s all over himself. Somehow this walk after a workday is a bit more enjoyable. Suddenly the weather seems nicer, the birds start singing, and Haarlemdog is nice and relaxed. The walk seems that much more enjoyable. I am at peace with the walk, Haarlemdog and our surroundings. “And I am high.”

   Marijuana simply makes life more enjoyable and at times tolerable. It can make music sound incredible, it makes a good movie come to life and food taste perfect. What can be the problem with that. But on a deeper level, smoking marijuana simply makes me a solid member in society. Violent, uncaring, being reckless is not a characteristic of any true stoner. Many people will question these beliefs. But if you don’t know, you won’t ever get it. Happy Smoking!

Coffeeshop Of The Week: Greenhouse

   Greenhouse coffeeshop, known for their haze, is a place you must stop at and gear up. For the stoner looking for premiere Haze, a great uplifting high, then stop at a Greenhouse for top shelf product. A Haze in the early morning is the way to start the day. With multiple locations throughout the Amsterdam Canal Belt, you will always be within walking distance to pop in and puff. One of my favorite places to smoke in the Dam is the new Greenhouse located along the Haarlemmer Straat, not far from Central Station. 

   As you enter this new shop, Greenhouse Lounge, you will immediately notice that you are standing on a giant fish tank built into the floor. Giant Koi fish will be looking up at you while you look back in disbelief. This makes for a very cool effect that is a must see. The shop has three levels and plenty of seating for a busy weekend.

   Here is a great look at the Greenhouse Menu and all of its gloryness. Two items on the menu that stand out to me are the Super Lemon Haze and the Super Silver Haze. Priced at 10.50 and 11.50 euros per gram they are priced well for any smoker wanting a top grade product. Their effects are uplifting and taste great. Cured well and smoked great. One of my fat brother’s favorite is the Jack Herer Hydro priced at 8 euros a gram and worth every cent. This is a great everyday smoke. Also try the Hydro Cheese, tastes great and feel good. Pictured is the Super Lemon Haze. 

   Greenhouse is also known for their Original United States varieties. With strains such as Train Wreck and OG Kush these California strains will make you feel at home.

From my experience all of the products sold at all of the three Greenhouse locations are quality. You are sure to make a smart purchase no matter what you choose. The shop on the Haarlemmer Stratt I rate a 9 out of 10 for the superb products and a shop with a great vibe. On your next trip make sure to stop here.

Short Term Apartments

                                                                                   For most travelers heading through Amsterdam the idea of paying top price for a hotel room  is a giant waste of money. In the peak travel season a hotel room can easily cost in excess of 150 euros a night. If you are traveling with a group, your family or friends, staying in a short stay apartment could be a great way to save a few dollars without giving up much of the comfort of a hotel. There are plenty of websites offering short-term apartments for much less than your average night in a hotel. Many of the apartments are quite nice and spacious. Here are a few of the websites that might help you in your search.

   http://www.shortstay-apartment.com/amsterdam/

   http://www.amsterdamstay.com/

   http://www.houseboathotel.nl/

   With a little research you will be able to find a suitable apartment for you and your guests. Whether you are looking for a studio, one or two, even three bedrooms, you will be able to find what you need. Most of the apartments will be located in the city center with transportation near by. From my experience, this is a great way to stay for the adventurous traveler.

Happy 4-20

   For most of us April 20th has turned into a day of smoking, reflection and defiance. For what started as a silly excuse to go and get stoned as a teenager turned into a global holiday, celebrated by millions. People from all over the world gather by the thousands in their respective cities and towns and engage in smoke outs similar to the one shown here on Hippie Hill in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco.  But why April 20th? Why 420 man?

   Dating back to 1971, in San Rafael, California ( Not far from my home town) a group of teenagers wanted to heist a little known about grow operation. The alpha of the group was Parker Haney. He wanted everyone to meet at the statue of Louis Pasteur at the high school  at 4:20pm that afternoon to go and look for the grow. This operation amongst the group of guys was known as 4:20 Louis. Later becoming 4:20. This name stuck and 4:20 became the socially acceptable time to go and smoke that reefer. Eventually High Times creative director Steven Hager wrote about the origin of the term.

   Looking back over the years the ideology of cannabis has certainly changed. When I now smoke marijuana I no longer fell as though I am a criminal, although the reality is that smoking this natural herb is yet still very illegal. It is up to the people who use this drug to use it responsibly and shine the uses in a positive light. Be an embassador, and lets all do our part to make a change in the law.

University Of Colorado, Boulder.

CoffeeShop Of The Week… Kadinsky

   For many Dutch Masters staying in Amsterdam hotels, the necessity of having a “home coffeeshop base” is crucial. A place to start the day, end it, wake up from a nap out of wacky and close enough to sprint to. In many of my visits I have had the pleasure of staying at the beautiful Hotel Estherea along the Single Canal. A great shop around the corner is Kadinsky.

   Okay I will admit that this is somewhat of a “commercial” coffeeshop, But this decent sized shop has plenty to offer for the smoker. Along a tiny alleyway right off Single canal you will spot the shop with a huge window in front. As you walk in they have a bar to sit at and puff and drink coffee, tea, hot chocolate or several flavored juices to choose from. The budtender is a few steps away. Their menu is well priced. I find myself usually purchasing the cheaper classics. AK 47, White Widow, Jack and Big Buddha Cheese. The menu seems somewhat hit or miss. Feel free to do the smell test and if it looks good, it probably is. Like many coffeeshops some product appears to be good but smokes funny. Wet and not properly cured buds will produce this kind of product.  

   After you make your difficult purchase, head downstairs and play a game of pinball while your stoner friend rolls up a nice fatty. An old school pinball machine offers plenty of good times while puffing away. Notice HDG has the top score. That’s right bitches,  Haarlemdog holds it. Try to beat it, many have tried, none have conquered.

   Upstairs is a small section with seats for a dozen. This  makes for a great place to chill out and relax.

   To me, Kadinsky feels like my neighborhood coffeeshop. It always has a warm, comfortable atmosphere perfect for any smoker. I love showing up at the shop for opening and grabbing a seat at the window with a cappuccino and a Joint. Overall I give Kadinsky a 6 out of 10. The menu is hit and miss, but added points for atmosphere and comfort. If staying in this area its worth a visit.

These Shoes Were Made For Walking

   One of my favorite activities to do while in the Dam is to get freshly stoned and simply walk around. There is no better way to see and enjoy the city than to do it on foot. Now granted, too much walking can be a very bad thing. Limping around everywhere the next day is sure to slow you down. I refer to this as RLD Leg. I’ll explain this in another post. But take it from me, a casual stroll along the Singel Canal can be as refreshing as it is beautiful. Here are a few tips to keep in mind before heading out. 

   First off stoner don’t forget your gear; lighter… check. Joints… check. Hash Pipe… check. Ok now we are ready to head out.

   Second, wear a good pair of tennis shoes. Cobblestone streets over time will kill your feet. And for all the Ladiiiesss… No high heels. I am always screaming at my woman about her footwear. Think comfort, you will thank me later.

   Third, Get lost. I love getting lost in a city I have never been before. Especially when you are all high and feeling paranoid. Take advantage of the situation and relax. You will most likely see something that you wouldn’t have.   

   Most of all, pay attention to where you are walking. Look out for bikes, scooters, trams, those brown poles along the sidewalk, and parked cars and anything else that might reach out and bite you. I have walked into plenty of shit in my travels and I wish I would take my own advice.

   Enjoy the walk and happy toking!